“It was just a little more than a century and a half ago when Charles Darwin and Alfred Russel Wallace explained how all the species on Earth could be the product of ancestor- descendant relationships. It was the most important discovery that has been made in science - more important than the discovery that the Earth revolves around the sun, more important than the realization that the Universe is billions of years old, more important even than the discovery of the constituents of the atom. The recognition of biological evolution completely overturned how humans thought about themselves and their relation to the rest of the universe. It’s no wonder that many people still have not reconciled themselves with the implications of evolution”—
Listen folks, climate change sucks. It sucks to talk about, it sucks to experience it, and it sucks to research it. I would say that it sucks to cause it, but we apparently haven’t learned that lesson yet.
I imagine the world’s climate scientists feel like they are in the back row of a bus, yelling at the drunk bus driver to turn before he drives off of a cliff. Except that the bus driver only speaks Klingon, and all the other passengers on the bus are beating you with baseball bats.
Here’s an example of why:
January 27, 2012: The Wall Street Journal publishes an op-ed letter from sixteen “scientists” saying that global warming and man-made climate change is not a threat that should be addressed, nor should it be brought up by today’s politicians. They essentially call climate science a money-making hustle.
They say things like “CO2 is not a pollutant”, which makes me want to put them in a dry-cleaning bag and see if they change their mind.
The sixteen are primarily engineers and retired weathermen. So that.
May 2010: A letter signed by 255 members of the National Academy of Sciences defending the assault on climate research is offered to the Wall Street Journal and is rejected. It is later printed in Science, which coincidentally is one of the world’s best journals about science.
None of the 255 are weathermen, retired or otherwise.
Climate science and communicating how that relates to how we live is “running backwards and naked through a cornfield” uncomfortable. But when major media outlets exercise this kind of bias, it stacks the deck.
Richard Nixon’s Never-Used 1969 Speech In Case of Apollo 11 Disaster
Thankfully, not needed.
IN THE EVENT OF MOON DISASTER:
Fate has ordained that the men who went to the moon to explore in peace will stay on the moon to rest in peace.
These brave men, Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin, know that there is no hope for their recovery. But they also know that there is hope for mankind in their sacrifice.
These two men are laying down their lives in mankind’s most noble goal: the search for truth and understanding.
They will be mourned by their families and friends; they will be mourned by their nation; they will be mourned by the people of the world; they will be mourned by a Mother Earth that dared send two of her sons into the unknown.
In their exploration, they stirred the people of the world to feel as one; in their sacrifice, they bind more tightly the brotherhood of man.
In ancient days, men looked at stars and saw their heroes in the constellations. In modern times, we do much the same, but our heroes are epic men of flesh and blood.
Others will follow and surely find their way home. Man’s search will not be denied. But these men were the first, and they will remain the foremost in our hearts.
For every human being who looks up at the moon in the nights to come will know that there is some corner of another world that is forever mankind.
PRIOR TO THE PRESIDENT’S STATEMENT: The president should telephone each of the widows-to-be.
AFTER THE PRESIDENT’S STATEMENT, at the point when NASA ends communications with the men: A clergyman should adopt the same procedure as a burial at sea, commending their souls to “the deepest of the deep,” concluding with the Lord’s Prayer.
Ben Shattuck looks into real-life Jonah-esque accounts of getting eaten by sperm whales, and uncovers both maritime terror and interesting cetacean anatomy lessons:
If, I’ll pretend for a moment, you were swallowed, it would happen like this: You would first be chewed. Sperm whales’ teeth are 8 inches long – longer than most blades in your knife drawer. Then you would be gulped to the fauces, the back of the mouth, and forced down. Here is where Bartley apparently touched the quivering sides of the throat. You would also touch the throat, perhaps claw at the sides of the throat like you would sliding down an icy slope. There would be no air, and you’d suffocate in acid and water, but, we’re saying, you somehow survive. Imagine a black and mucous-smothered tube sock slipping over you.